If you read my other posts, you probably know by now that I had a pretty rough time for about a year. A year that actually proved to be the best so far in terms of my personal development, discovering who I am and, most of all, accepting, loving and honouring who I am.

I’ve learnt many valuable lessons, some of which I’m sharing here with you, but if I were to choose one that really made a difference, it would probably be switching my mindset from having a problem to having a question and finding a solution to receiving an answer.

Might seem like not much of a difference at first, but the difference is actually quite meaningful at a much deeper level than it seems. Let me explain J

Problems and solutions are two words that carry a negative charge. Just by merely saying “I/we have a problem” triggers our fight or flight mode, which leads us to either putting on a brave face and trying to find solutions or we enter the flight mode and block whatever is going on in an attempt to protect ourselves. Either way we subconsciously act based on fear.

Questions, on the other hand, have a positive charge and trigger the desire to have answers based on curiosity, based on a desire to learn; hence the answers come from a place of love. Furthermore, when someone says “I have a question for you”, we immediately feel good, feel appreciated and valued, so the brain is flooded with pheromones, we feel good, so our answers come from a place of love. 

Give it a go yourself! Next time you face a situation that you regard as a barrier, think of it as a problem and notice how you feel. Then take a minute and reframe it as a question and pay attention to how your feelings have changed. Not only you will feel a lot more positive and calm, you will also have a lot more fun in the process of finding/allowing the answers to come to you.